(no subject)

[Filter: Private]

I just ...

I don't want to be somebody I'm not. I want to be a better person, sure. Who doesn't? I want to be that for Allison. I want to be that for Cori. She was always so proud of Lila and Allison, and what could I do that she was impressed with. Belch the alphabet? Not exactly the sort of legacy you want to leave.

But I just know what I am and I'd rather be worthless than be unhappy.

I'm happy this way. Even with crap with Allison being stupid, even with all Mom's nagging, even knowing that I'm sort of pathetic, I'm honestly pretty happy with myself, so ...

... I don't know.

Imposssible question, huh?

[Filter: Public]

Argh!

Moving is a pain! Even when you're excited to get where you're going, it's a huge stupid pain and I hate it. You don't realize how much stuff you manage to get until you have to put it all in boxes -- ALL OF IT -- and drag it all across the countryside and then take it all back out!

I think we should just ban moving completely. It's that much of a pain. Frig!

The house is sort of ... well, heh, you can tell no one's lived in it for over a year, and I think it saw a few live-ins during the crazy bandit days. It's kind of a fixer-upper.

I'm probably going to get roped into that, too.

Bah!

Moving! And fixing!

That's it, I'm out. It's way too nice a day to be swinging a hammer.